Category Archives: Meaning of Life

Day-to-Day, Frustration & Complaint, Meaning of Life

Occupy Dim Sum

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Occupy Dim SumAs I sat at my desk today performing menial, mind-numbing tasks in order to help a colleague,  my various trains of thoughts, all loaded with many cars of twisted, ephemeral cargo, skipped the tracks, as if  a drunken, heavily unionized switchman on his last day of work before vacation and with a large dose of  cold medication in him were at the switching controls.

And it’s apt that I mention cold medication as I have been suffering (not loudly enough it seems) from a sinus infection that only now, after what would seem like a few hundred decongestant pills and other kinds of sprays and vats of chicken soup that have been popped into my body on a pretty regular basis, seems to be getting a little better. But only a little. I still need reasons to complain.

As for those thoughts skipping off in different directions, I managed just long enough to string together enough of them to do this cartoon, on a topic that cried out to be covered by the sharpest mind, the keenest wit, the most vicious humor this side of the western hemisphere. Unfortunately, he’s on vacation and the rest of the staff were fired due to “right-sizing” and “rationalization” so I was left with the job of cartooning this sucker. How it got from Wall St. protests to dim sum I am really not sure.

It really did distract me from my ever more decrepit house that requires untold amounts of stabilization and repair (think Champlain Bridge, but far worse workmanship). If I could convince you people to buy a t-shirt, or better yet, when I get around to it, the e-book I plan on creating of this comic, I would have just enough to finance those repairs. Or buy the repairmen a beer. You have been warned — an e-book is coming of the  Stanko & Tibor saga.

So keep reading this comedic/operatic saga that will stand the test of time, unless my PC dies before then. Highly likely.

Be well, and don’t forget to speak with pride when you mention my comic to  your shrink and/or parole officer.

-Giovanni di Prosciutto

Day-to-Day, Frustration & Complaint, Meaning of Life

The Blade of Jillett

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JillettAhoy ye Followers of the Comedic and Comic,

Why the pirate-based greeting? Because I’m tired and didn’t sleep enough today. Should have napped when I had the chance and I didn’t. All I did was cook a vat of chicken soup, and then made a colossal dinner for the family that involved frying, steaming, baking and a whole lot of cleaning afterward.

And it was while cleaning the dishes that I had a minor revelation: my belly and the universe are two very similar entities. They are both still expanding and have masses of swirling gasses. The only difference is that I produce “big bangs” slightly more often.

What does that have to do with this latest installment of the finest, and some say strangest “oeuvre d’art” since Picasso smoked that bad weed with an absinthe chaser  and came up with Cubism? Everything and nothing. OK, that was a lame answer, but it gives me time to come up with a better answer.

Actually, this episode of Stanko & Tibor, the comic banned by both the Taliban AND Mel Gibson as being “sick and depraved”, is all about what is genuine. And what is indeed genuine? My love for my children? Some days, sure. And mostly when they are asleep. Or is it my addiction to chocolaty foods (notice I didn’t say “chocolate” – the stuff I eat has been through at least one lab and two genetic modifiers)? More likely.

But that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying this comic and the ensuing guffaws and deep laughter that SHOULD ensue from reading it. That is, if you’re normal. Only abnormal people don’t laugh at this. You know who you are.

Keep reading, keep eating and keep sleeping. That combo could lead to a long and healthy life.

-Jon de Val-Jean

Meaning of Life

Genuine Labor

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Genuine LaborDearest comrades, brothers and sisters, and fellow fans of this timeless online objet d’art that has a shaky grip on reality much like its creator,

I just downed a meal that involved grilled meats, fresh corn from the field and other such treats and as a result, the digestive functions have kicked in and rob me as I type this of the blood and oxygen needed to form a coherent thought.  I am  slowly fading toward unconsciousness on the First Monday of September, a.k.a. Labor Day (in North America), the day we cherish what labor is, how hard we labor at our work and most importantly — why we are wildly happy to have another day away from the office, where they have easily taken 16 or 17 pounds of my flesh. Not sure what that would be in metric.

The idea for this comic has a long a tortuous past if you go through my emails where I write down and store most of my ideas. Safe to say, it was simpler to draw than to write it. But I have to give credit where it is due. My sister-in-law’s sharp wit  inspired the final frame, but I liberally stole her idea and made it my own. If this comic ever makes me any money, she’ll sue me for it. As will my best friend and much of my family. Mostly for sport more than for any substantial reason.

So now that I have published this latest installment of the comic that is often cited by critics as “foul literature”, an “artistic blight”, and by the medical establishment  “as a clear sign of mental degeneration and likely a genetic defect masquerading as a sense of humor”, I shall retire to the bedroom, rummage through my car magazines and dream the dream of the just, with images of me at the wheel of a fiery sport cars, towing along a trunk full of butter-rich croissants and maybe a dozen fresh bagels.

Keep the faith, and please keep over-eating so I’ll look a little thinner next to you.

-Johannes the Druker

Frustration & Complaint, Meaning of Life

Poetry In Motion

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Poetry in MotionHello friends of summer,

This episode of the oft-criticized, regularly maligned, fervently attacked by the Left and the Right, most dangerous and subversive comic within a 3 mile (5 /km) radius of our favorite bagel store is a shout-out to one Lesley Trites, a soul-filled colleague of mine who has had or is having her book of poetry published shortly. (I asked for a free copy and she made a 1-fingered gesture considered rude at social gatherings and leading to violent escalations in traffic situations and told me to get in line like everyone else.) Congrats, Lesley, I’ll be at the poetry reading even if you have me on the do-not-admit list.

As you can well see, there is little topical in the way of this comic, and that is because I am too tired. Work, charity, kids, blogs, comics. Forget it. I need a break. Now to take 2 weeks off to do much of nothing.

It’s hot here, sticky humid, and I have got the A/C cranked as any good North American with full disregard for the environment and a ballooning electricity bill would do. Well, if I weren’t so fat and hairy, I might not suffer as much, but the short-term solution of man-made cooler air really appeals to me more than losing weight and waxing my body. My god, I would need a candle factory’s worth of wax. Still that would be less than what my brother-in-law Sparky would need.

I promise many a fun-filled episode to come in the future and I will devote more time to the comic that ruins your inbox so that more humor, mayhem and guffaws make their way out into the world. And as a thank-you, maybe you could by a t-shirt or a tote bag from me?

Be well all, and most importantly, eat well.

-Bono Jon

Day-to-Day, Meaning of Life

News vs. Facts

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Stanko & Tibor - News vs FactsTo those who dare follow this comically drawn comic containing social commentary that endangers the lives — and sanity — of the innocent, the not-so-innocent, and the hairy among you, to those who dare to read it, or even have it bookmarked as one of your favorites:

Since the last posting, another few weeks have passed, and in that time much has passed. Like some stones through my kidney, some pain killers through my system, and perhaps worse, some steak, chocolate danish and loads of other junk through my large, hairy belly. NOTE: The expansion of the latter has nothing to do with the ingestion of the former. Or is that the other way around? Whatever.

This comic installment was an idea long in the making, and the recent Rupert Murdoch/News Of The World scandal made it that much more timely. So I give you a comic about misinformation, lack of facts, and general stupidity. So critique it if you will, tweet it if you will, print it and post it on the bathroom door at work, but just don’t ignore. Or do ignore it, I am really tired from eating way too much tasty Thai food at dinner and avoiding exercise with lame excuses like “I shaved today, I can’t risk sweating and breaking out in a rash on my neck!”

One last thing – I have created a whole slew of designs that you can have put on a t-shirt, a sweatshirt, a tote bag, or even an iPad cover. So please have a look at them here:

https://stankotibor.com/buy-impress-friends/

And then tell me which one you like best and I can get you a deal on one of these. I know the hack artist who created them.

Much love and even more sleep for us all.

-Jonny D

Meaning of Life

Shopping for Truth

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My dearest adherents to this comic,

As I walked to work the other day I gazed up at the early morning sky to see the sun brightly shining with a light corona of haze on its upward arc in the east, only be shortly met in mere minutes by a semi-translucent, semi-inky ridge of clouds that looked like they wanted to choke off the sun’s intense heat to give relief to an overheated city. I was amazed at the beauty of how sun and cloud play together at that time of day and how humans anthropomorphize our world around us to better cope with it.

Then I thought to myself, what a profound thought from a guy who watches Bugs Bunny with his kids and also produces a comic that involves a lot of fart jokes and sub-mental humor. And then I thought that such a deep thought could only have occurred due to the confluence of several key factors: a lack of meaningful sleep being crucial, modern pharmacology’s miracle of allergy medicine + my gout pills, probably a recessive gene that kicked it at that very moment, and then promptly switched off like a cheap incandescent light bulb, and lastly the left-overs of many a chemically-enhanced sugary product (i.e. gooey cinnamon danish) that spiked my blood sugar to levels not seen since my ingestion of a 100g bar of Marzipan right around Christmas.

And then when that thought dissipated like a drop of oil in a hot frying pan, I was left with this comic’s latest installment, once again on food. And my obsession with it. Not in a “Chef Paul Prud’homme, I can barely get my hands to touch because I am so fat” way. More like a “what am I ingesting that keeps my belly plump, round and unable to pack into my size 34 jeans without deep belly sucking.”

Personally, I like the product names way more than the reality of what’s in them and the effect they have on me. And that’s why I am going to be purchasing products that may well kill me (not the cigarettes, however. Relax, ma) albeit slowly and tastily.

Enjoy, and please check out some new designs I have for t-shirts and sweatshirts, you bunch of wonderful people with generous souls and open wallets.

The shock at seeing his download bill for "adult" films

The shock at seeing his download bill for “adult” films

 

Guitar Love by Stanko & Tibor

Guitar Love

 

Loud, Proud, Full of Gout

Loud, Proud, Full of Gout for the Holidays

 

Continue reading Shopping for Truth →

Meaning of Life

Rupture vs. Rapture

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Well, this is what happens when I am left to my own devices. After a week of work, more work and all kinds of non-work-work. I know — it’s confusing, but so is my mental state as I type this. It’s late and I didn’t sleep enough this weekend.

Anyhow, I decided to give you folks a treat –  a hand drawn episode of the world’s finest comic, if you don’t count fan base, or copies sold, or page views. But those are “mainstream” metrics.

I tried drawing on paper again and to be honest it was fun, if slower than I had hoped. And you get used to the tools the computer gives you that you can’t do on paper. Like correct spelling mistakes, of which there are several.

So don’t bust my jewels about the spelling mistakes. This means you, Dan. And all my other literate, persnickety friends and family. Cut me some slack. Entertaining you people is a challenge.

Oh, and the topic this week is from two weeks ago, when the so called Rapture kept us rapt, but was a dud, and then rescheduled by that religious figure in California. Then again, given the horrific weather, the E-coli outbreak in Germany and general discontent in the Middle East, who knows? I certainly don’t.

Oh, this comic will return to its electronically drafted format in the next installment when I return to the “truth in food” theme. So much material there.

Be well, my dear readers. I am about to apply my face to my pillow and see what short discussion will arise.

Meaning of Life

Truth In Food

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Wow, I am tired. What a long weekend here in Canada. In addition to it being my soon-to-retire mother’s birthday, we in the Great White North take an extra day off to eat, drink, be merry, and plant stuff in our yards under the guise of celebrating Queen Victoria’s birthday.  I could make some horrendous comment about a dead monarch with a tight corset and probably some kind of sexual repression issues, but I ate so damn much good food that I am swollen, dizzy and generally dopey.

So let me say this – this comic is an old idea I had literally a year or two ago, but couldn’t get around to doing. Now I have done it, and later on, there will be a few more on this topic, but give me some time. Actually, I was aching to do a post on the not-really-a-rapture, and I have the dialog and the sketch, but I figured, I’d get this one out of the way and then do a hand-drawn rapture comic. And to be honest, I spent the day of the rapture mowing my lawn, trimming hedges, and ripping out weeds, so maybe that was my diving punishment. Then again, since we live right next to a well-attended church, I figured if there was some kind of rapture thingy that we’d get rapture rub-off and we’d get sucked up too. By dint of proximity to the house of worship, I guessed that heaven’s GPS might take us along with the church. No such luck, I still have to make mortgage payments.

Well, it’s time for bed and possibly a sugary, mass-produced confectionery masquerading as a cookie, but is really a product of petroleum, recycled synthetic motor oil and Silly Putty®.

Keep the faith and keep hoping I regain self-control so I can lose some weight and fit into my shorts.

Meaning of Life

Truth In Trump

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Dear slaves to this comic,

What a month it has been since I last posted a tour de force in comic format. The last one seemed to have struck a chord with those of you following current events or with a fondness for Burt Reynolds, circa ’78. You know who you are.

Well, this particular commentary wasn’t really planned. But with Osama getting a unintended dose of rapid-fire hot lead from SEALs that aren’t all that interested in fish really made the news. And of course, every nutbar and his conspiracy theory brother came out of the word work, and some never left. Like Mr. Trump, for example. Although many wish he would, but sadly he has supporters and a lot of money. Where is a benevolent god of any kind to smite someone who really deserves to be ‘smoten’, I ask you?

But this skillfully crafted and drawn oracle containing all things commentary-worthy will return to its regularly scheduled mania, mayhem, moronic madness and other words that start with ‘m’ – once I find a better letter for alliterations. Until such time, I may take a bike ride to try and trim the 10 pounds of belly fat I have accumulated over the past 4 weeks or so, through a deft combination of no exercise, high-fat foods, foods with sugar in formats that could only  have been created by Monsanto in a secret lab in the desert, and hot dogs. I feel shame.

By the way, for those of you don’t know and who probably don’t care, I am now writing for the main car blog site, known as The Car Connection. So go there, look for my wry blogs on all things advertising in the car world. Impress your friends.

Better yet, read this comic and forward it to your friends, enemies and make it one your favorites. Or just lie to me and tell me you did. Same thing.

OK, time to blog and eat cookies. I meant celery.

Meaning of Life

Democracy for All

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Well, it has been a long, long, long time since I last posted anything apart from two story updates that a) were written when adrenaline had kicked in after a severe lack of sleep and way too much caffeine needed to keep me semi- functional at work and b) displayed an uncanny literary and poetic quality that some of the most respected minds in the academic community have described in numerous journals and conferences as” a pile of steaming crap.” Yes, I took umbrage at those remarks but I was so busy blogging for the car ads, I couldn’t supply a witty rejoinder or a wry retort.

So after a long hiatus (I hear they have pills for that now), I am posting a comic that should have been posted well over a month ago when this whole Middle East thing went viral. Dictators were falling left, right, and center, and sure there was some bloodshed, but it made for gripping TV. Please recall the events of pre-Japan and then read this comic and laugh. O yell, Or take your hand gun and hold up a convenience store. Whatever and wherever the mood takes you. Just be sure I won’t accept responsibility.

I am about to repair to the bedroom for some intense TV-watching and then some eve more intense passing-out, followed closely by snoring and then maybe a mid-night jaunt to the bathroom hoping I don’t smash my toe on anything, and then probably a pee followed back crawling back to bed and snoring.

Aren’t you happy you read this email?

Keep the faith

Jonny D (also a blogger)