The Abstruse Weed

Covid Weed Covid Weed Covid Weed Covid Weed Covid Weed Covid Weed Covid WeedWhat Is the Abstruse Weed

As we muddle our way through ever more protests and convoys of paranoid motorized morons, I decided to reflect on things that are shall we say, abstruse, which is a fancy way of saying difficult to understand. Why did I choose the word abstruse when I could have said it more simply?

To be brutally honest, I was thinking of eating some apple strudel, and somehow my brain came up up with ‘abstruse strudel’ because it sounded good in my head. And I had slept poorly. I couldn’t for the life of me remember what abstruse meant, so I looked it up and realized it has nothing to do with strudel. In fact strudel is not difficult to comprehend, apple or otherwise. Well, maybe cherry-peach strudel is a little difficult to comprehend. Terrible combo. Or dare I say, that would be an abstruse strudel riddle.

Have I Lost You Yet?

Clearly, the previous two paragraphs are the rantings of a lunatic. I should know. I wrote them.  Furthermore, what does this have to do with anything related to the title of this post, The Abstruse Weed? Oddly, it comes from a news article about experiments done to see how cannabis could affect or potentially inhibit Covid from replicating. Apparently it may work.

My mind raced at the thought of weed potentially being beneficial to the fight against a virus that has laid bare economies, societies and supply chains. Who would have ever come up with the idea of using weed to combat a virus?

Dopehead stoner students, that’s who.

Which is indirectly how I came up with the series of drawings for this episode of the comic, once referred to by Jacques Cousteau as ‘merde de poisson’. He was a harsh critic.

It dawned on me, as I was on a Mount Everest sugar high from eating too many industrial cookies that were on sale, that it is just this type of abstruse thinking that is at the heart of human creativity. I am also relatively sure weed may play a role in creative thinking, but in my humble and under-informed opinion it pales when compared to chocolate danish-fueled synapse-triggering creativity.

Totally Out There

So I decided to use the cross-pollination method of creative thinking to come up with some questions that humanity could ponder while waiting for the next government edict on the Covid situation or while waiting in traffic behind some trucker or Confederate flag-waiving bigot who has decided his rights to spreading bellicose stupidity outweighs your rights to fetch a bagel in peace and quiet.

Potential Ponderable #1

Why do we use the word ‘lady’ when referring to  a cleaning lady? Do you know any cleaning gentlemen? Is is it because a proper cleaning lady keeps her legs crossed while scrubbing your filthy floors and food encrusted counters, and  always with a smile and good humour? Would you call Lady Diana a cleaning lady? How about Lady Gaga? Or the Lady of the Lake? I didn’t think so. Conversely, I know of no cleaning men. Unless you count my brother-in-law who keeps a damn tidy house. But he’s not compensated adequately for his services. Bless his hairy soul.

Potential Ponderable #2

Recyclable ammunition. Why hasn’t anyone invented recyclable bullets? Such a waste. Talk about our disposable culture. One-time use of bullets and missiles is so passé! Reuse and recycle, I say. (We are not good as reducing our use of ammunition however. Witness the state of the world over the last 26 minutes and you’ll know what I mean.) At least make bullets and bombs biodegradable or recyclable. I bet you if there was a deposit on ammunition, let’s say  1$ on every bullet casing and $20 on every shell or bomb casing you bring back to the supermarket, you’d have a line-up out the door.

Potential Ponderable #3

If prostitution is the oldest profession as the saying goes, who does the accreditation exams? is there a Prostitute Academy in the Netherlands I am unaware of? Who judges if you’re qualified and have passed the exams? More importantly HOW do they determine if you’re a professional? Do you need a website? Are there amateur and professional prostitutes? Is there a minor league? Or relegation to a lower tier? If you’re not designated a professional, then isn’t it more like a pastime or a side hustle?

Now it’s time for a shower.

Sincerely,
King Panda Druker

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