Shopping for Truth

My dearest adherents to this comic,

As I walked to work the other day I gazed up at the early morning sky to see the sun brightly shining with a light corona of haze on its upward arc in the east, only be shortly met in mere minutes by a semi-translucent, semi-inky ridge of clouds that looked like they wanted to choke off the sun’s intense heat to give relief to an overheated city. I was amazed at the beauty of how sun and cloud play together at that time of day and how humans anthropomorphize our world around us to better cope with it.

Then I thought to myself, what a profound thought from a guy who watches Bugs Bunny with his kids and also produces a comic that involves a lot of fart jokes and sub-mental humor. And then I thought that such a deep thought could only have occurred due to the confluence of several key factors: a lack of meaningful sleep being crucial, modern pharmacology’s miracle of allergy medicine + my gout pills, probably a recessive gene that kicked it at that very moment, and then promptly switched off like a cheap incandescent light bulb, and lastly the left-overs of many a chemically-enhanced sugary product (i.e. gooey cinnamon danish) that spiked my blood sugar to levels not seen since my ingestion of a 100g bar of Marzipan right around Christmas.

And then when that thought dissipated like a drop of oil in a hot frying pan, I was left with this comic’s latest installment, once again on food. And my obsession with it. Not in a “Chef Paul Prud’homme, I can barely get my hands to touch because I am so fat” way. More like a “what am I ingesting that keeps my belly plump, round and unable to pack into my size 34 jeans without deep belly sucking.”

Personally, I like the product names way more than the reality of what’s in them and the effect they have on me. And that’s why I am going to be purchasing products that may well kill me (not the cigarettes, however. Relax, ma) albeit slowly and tastily.

Enjoy, and please check out some new designs I have for t-shirts and sweatshirts, you bunch of wonderful people with generous souls and open wallets.

2 thoughts on “Shopping for Truth”

  1. Dear Jon,
    I enjoyed the comic and was delighted about the prose that came with it. Wait, I know what you think: Old Hendrik keeps repeating himself. And it is true, I have been praising your writing a lot and look forward to a free copy of your first novel, should you ever write it. But today, if I may, I have some criticism. As I said, I enjoyed the text, but there is one thing we need to discuss.
    The figure of speech about the thought that “dissipated like a drop of oil in a hot frying pan” is questionable. This is what would happen to a drop of *water* in a hot frying pan, but I doubt that a drop of oil would give up so easily. I haven’t tried it as I always use copious amounts of oil in my futile attempts to produce a cooked meal, but I would assume that a drop of oil in a hot frying pan would burn and turn black. Now imagine that happening to your thoughts.

    1. Hi Hendrik,
      Well, to reply to your criticism, I got that thought from preparing my dinner the night before, where I put some oil — more than a drop — on a hot frying pan, and it did dissipate quickly, not turning black. And the dinner was pretty darn good if I recall too. But since that dinner, I have managed to eat lots of food and expand my belly. I feel shame.

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