Before I get into who’s fault it is that I can’t seem to lose weight by wishing it away, I’d like to dedicate the inspiration for this episode to my dear uncle Mel, may he rest in peace. No wait, I just had supper with him, so that might be a bit premature. Whatever, ’twas his idea that he generously donated to me for this episode, and I merely provided the dialog, the artwork, the editing and the man power.
Often we hear the question asked “what would I do if I could do it all over again?” Or the more acute “if today was your last day on earth, what would you do?” Usually the answers involve more premarital sex, drinking and debauchery, and probably something unholy with the boss you always hated and an electric cattle prod.
What does that previous paragraph of depravity have to do with this latest installment of the digitally delivered diatribe cited by many prominent publications, such The Guardian, Time Magazine, Der Spiegel, the Asahi Shimbu, The Wall Street Journal, the Jerusalem Post and The Mississippi Mudslinger as being “Reason No.3 Why Free Speech Should Be Revoked and Replaced With Hot Needles to the Eyes”?
Simple, actually. It presents us with the thoughtful question of “if I were to shuffle off this mortal coil, would I have left a legacy rich in love and generosity, or would I be merely a comma in a footnote in Appendix F at the back of the book of life?”
I really can’t answer that question because as I write this, I am eating icy cold chocolate ice cream to beat the sub-tropical heat in my non-tropical city and it’s giving me a total brain freeze, so rational thought is at a premium right now. However, it could be because of the 2 Pop Tarts I ate last night while editing the dialog for this particular episode. (Hey, don’t judge me! They were on sale and I had a moment of weakness. You would have done the same.) It’s possible that the petroleum-sugar combo that is used to forge one of these tasty saccharin death treats made in the fires of corporate hell finally broke one of my sets of chromosomes. Thus explaining the wordy nature of this episode of Stanko & Tibor.
One more thing – the last 2 episodes have revolved right around my family, and this last one with the appendix reference is based in reality. The same guy who managed to escape 4-wheeled death a few weeks ago also managed to have an emergency appendectomy, purely in an effort to get attention. He is so childish sometimes.
However, I promise this comic will return to it’s highly factual and timely humor in the next installment. Provided I am not called to the hospital again or eat another Pop Tart.
Always faithful, always yours, always overtired,
Dr. Giovanni Drukerini