Tag Archives: flowers


Not unlike the rabbinical scholars who would sit across the table from each other and argue a the meaning of life, the existence of God, and the universe, each from opposing sides all day and all night, (largely in an effort to make their wives do the heavy work in the fields while the men played an ancient form of poker called “5-Card Sheep Stud”), our brave characters in this episode of Stanko & Tibor are coming to terms with things they can’t control.

Speaking of things I can’t control — but have to accept — I spent last weekend in the backyard committing baleful acts upon living things. The majority of the time was spent slashing green grass that had grown to a height great enough to cover a small family of pygmies that I think were living beneath our house and fighting with the family of gophers that reside beneath our house in times of duress.

The slaughter continued as I discovered not one, but two ant colonies, one of which I am sure is the source of the 6-legged invaders of our kitchen of late. They crossed the line when they entered our house looking for sugary leftovers. Milling and skulking about in the kitchen without our permission was just too much for me to handle. Such disrespect. And visited upon my kitchen no less. So I proceeded to introduce them firsthand to modern chemistry and its compressed effects in the form of a foam that is meant to kill the little buggers where they live. Kind of like a nicely scented shaving foam, but with, I am assuming, DDT leftovers from Vietnam and other harmful chemicals found in discarded generators and modern foodstuffs like the sausages and cookies I eat on a regular basis.

The killing field widened to include the most evil of all invaders in my green space – weeds, specifically dandelions. The nerve, the chutzpah, nay, the temerity to erupt in full bloom in the backyard, en masse, was just too much for me to handle. Off I went to obtain my preferred killing machine, that claw thing that rips out the dandelions by the root, an industrial version of what my dentist has used on me for what she delicately refers to as “cleanings.”

Well, those dandelions and their deep roots mock me no longer. And you’d think that after violently ripping some 50 or 60 of them out, the other dandelions would have gotten the message to stay away from our backyard. They are either of a kamikaze variety or just not very bright as far as weeds go. Maybe they are the lemmings of the plant world. Now the green grass and occasional cat poop that is my backyard is safe for now.

Oddly, while I was committing these acts of “planticide” and “anticide” I kind of wondered if this how God feels when he or she or it is flooding a coastline full of villagers and tourists in Indonesia or triggering a volcano somewhere and wiping out a village of evil-doers doing their laundry and making love to their oxen in a third world country. I wonder if God thinks we all look like ants and has a giant can of death foam or worse, a giant magnifying glass for frying.

I also came to the conclusion during my garden rampage on the living things that by holding the power of life and death over living objects, I was like God. Or a serial killer, there really isn’t much difference between the two, is there. They both seem to have the same characteristics: indiscriminate killing, twisted logic, rage issues, don’t handle stress well, and they both probably have a tattoo with the words “Suck it” on a shoulder blade. But I bet God would be better at cocktail parties making small talk, like “oh yeah, I hurt my back splitting the Red Sea the other day, and I can’t get a good chiropractor…”

Effervescently yours,

Mojo Dojo Mofo Druker

Youth Pills

Stanko & Tibor: Youth, Pills & Happiness

OK, here is the excuse for this installment’s late posting. Had I not begun to write semi-regularly for an automotive website, I would have had the time to finish this cartoon back on Monday. But alas, my duty to pontificate on things automotive (for which I am getting paid a nominal sum) took precedence this week.

But I digress.

First things second. I needed a break from the Radio Vitriol story line for a bit, and this one was sitting in my pool of ideas for a while. I had wanted to do this ages ago. And now I did. If anyone knows me and my cartooning style, they will immediately recognize the source of the theme from whence this episode came. And that is Bloom County, perhaps my greatest cartoon inspiration. So like any genius, I stole liberally in terms of setting and color. Words and characters, as you know, are my own.

Second (or is it third?), my lovely wife felt she had to point out that the poorly drawn rose in the comic looks way more like a tulip. I resorted to calling her a “hater” and proposing divorce proceedings, which she laughed at. And she laughed at the comic too, but she is even more sleep-deprived than I am so I take it all with a grain of salt.

And third things last, it’s bed time, as it’s past midnight. No wait, I forgot to mention, I made some changes to the site:

  • At the top right, I added “Share The Humor” tools, so you can share this with friends, family and the general media using social web tools. Even a Jewish grandmother could do it (hint, hint)
  • I added my favorite websites as well. Please check them out, they are all quite funny. It’s worth wasting your productive time on them
  • Very soon, I’ll remove the link to my car articles as it takes away from the comic experience, BUT I’ll replace it with more features of the comic, like a bio on the characters, and the most recent items you can purchase from the webstore. I can make kids’ gifts with a Stanko & Tibor image of your choice.

OK, that’s it. Good night.