Tag Archives: death

Good Riddance 2016 – Happy 2017

Good Riddance and Welcome

Well the people who follow the Gregorian calendar can now officially say ‘good riddance to 2016’ — especially given that death has been  a big theme this past year. (If you follow the Chinese, Zoroastrian, Muslim, Jewish, Japanese Imperial or Mayan calendars, it was still a pretty shockingly crappy year from some perspectives.)

And I am not counting the long list of celebrities who shuffled off their moral coil, and there were many. Influential too, in all manner of subjects and areas of expertise.

However, we should not forget those who weren’t famous or successful who were killed, murdered or just plain suffered to death in just about every part of the world. Don’t forget, they are just as much a part of life as those n Hollywood or elsewhere. I know, the media doesn’t want us to focus on that so much, because it doesn’t get ratings. But try not to forget.

I wonder if there is a death counter to tally up all the people who willfully or less than willfully said good riddance to this mortal life. That would be a tough job for any computer, or even the best accountant, no matter how good the software. Do humans do a global death census? Maybe we should, but counting the dead is hard because they tend not speak up when asked.

2017 Has To be Better, Right?

2017 —  Will it get better? That is the question on so many peoples’ lips. If you are an optimist –gullible, on medication or otherwise — it can only get better. After Donald Trump‘s election, and countless other terrorist attacks in the name of some ‘benevolent’ god, life can only move toward the positive, depending on your point of view, of course.

For the bitter pessimists among us, we have to suffer through four years of Donald Trump and the inevitable talk shows that will tear him to shreds. We’re all losers here. There is still Putin, terrorists, and worst of all, Mariah Carey is making a comeback. Some in the media are asking, if she’s making a comeback, why can’t a benevolent god from ANY religion give her tongue gout?

Good Riddance Again?

The human memory is conditioned to blot out bad experiences (like murder, torture, losing money at gambling, or an overdone steak). We tend to remember the things that gave us joy and euphoria. Obviously that’s different for different people. But if we just learned to remember the awful stuff a little more often, maybe we wouldn’t fall into the same bad habits like betting on democracy, or your favorite sports team, or the mafia to get you out of a sticky situation.

My recommendation for the future is simple: Eat what you like, spend time with those who make you happy, quit your job if you hate it, and watch plenty of animated TV – way better than reality.

Faithfully without faith,

Nostradamned Ignorantus Biggus Druker

Ill Winds

Dear and Dearest Readers,

Given the tremendously long interval between this posting of the comic once referred to by Mitt Romney as “socialist poop not fit to be stepped on by my wife’s show horse” and the one posted here and now, you’d be forgiven for thinking that I had given up on my love for story-telling via foul-mouthed, immoral gargoyles and woodland creatures. Well, you’d be wrong, as my labor of love still burns brightly, but it has just taken a beating at the hands of my day job.

Speaking of labor, some people labor away at their place of work, some women go through labor, some people celebrate the honesty of manual labor, and some folks survive the labor of passing a kidney stone (I know whereof I speak). We in North America, who aren’t incarcerated, have just passed the Labor Day holiday, often accompanied by grilled meats and family cheer, and in many instances it was followed by sending our kids back to school. Now those little rodents can experience the joy of educational labor.

So how does the topic of labor relate to ongoing and unending drama that is Stanko & Tibor? I have really labored long and hard over the delicate and artful method I would use to expand the lineup of characters, and what cunning literary technique I would employ to gently introduce the reader to my latest machinations. And then I reached to the only conclusion an indolent person like could: Screw it, just cram it down the reader’s throat and get on with it. Didn’t see it coming, did you?

Now you may ask why you should have to wait until the next episode before I actually show you what this Mother person looks like. The answer is simple: I have some cookies to eat, some mindless animation and sports highlights to watch before I dream up the next episode. Bear with me on this long journey and you will be rewarded with wisdom.

Much love,

The Short Wizard Gandalf Druker

Lies and Replies

Before I get into who’s fault it is that I can’t seem to lose weight by wishing it away, I’d like to dedicate the inspiration for this episode to my dear uncle Mel, may he rest in peace. No wait, I just had supper with him, so that might be a bit premature. Whatever, ’twas his idea that he generously donated to me for this episode, and I merely provided the dialog, the artwork, the editing and the man power.

Often we hear the question asked “what would I do if I could do it all over again?” Or the more acute “if today was your last day on earth, what would you do?” Usually the answers involve more premarital sex, drinking and debauchery, and probably something unholy with the boss you always hated and an electric cattle prod.

What does that previous paragraph of depravity have to do with this latest installment of the digitally delivered diatribe cited by many prominent publications, such The Guardian, Time Magazine, Der Spiegel, the Asahi Shimbu, The Wall Street Journal, the Jerusalem Post and The Mississippi Mudslinger as being “Reason No.3 Why Free Speech Should Be Revoked and Replaced With Hot Needles to the Eyes”?

Simple, actually. It presents us with the thoughtful question of “if I were to shuffle off this mortal coil, would I have left a legacy rich in love and generosity, or would I be merely a comma in a footnote in Appendix F at the back of the book of life?”

I really can’t answer that question because as I write this, I am eating icy cold chocolate ice cream to beat the sub-tropical heat in my non-tropical city and it’s giving me a total brain freeze, so rational thought is at a premium right now. However, it could be because of the 2 Pop Tarts I ate last night while editing the dialog for this particular episode. (Hey, don’t judge me! They were on sale and I had a moment of weakness. You would have done the same.) It’s possible that the petroleum-sugar combo that is used to forge one of these tasty saccharin death treats made in the fires of corporate hell finally broke one of my sets of chromosomes. Thus explaining the wordy nature of this episode of Stanko & Tibor.

One more thing – the last 2 episodes have revolved right around my family, and this last one with the appendix reference is based in reality. The same guy who managed to escape 4-wheeled death a few weeks ago also managed to have an emergency appendectomy, purely in an effort to get attention. He is so childish sometimes.

However, I promise this comic will return to it’s highly factual and timely humor in the next installment. Provided I am not called to the hospital again or eat another Pop Tart.

Always faithful, always yours, always overtired,

Dr. Giovanni Drukerini

Cheater, Cheater

There are many inspirations an artist uses to create his or her works of genius. Some come from stress, some from genetic mutation from having lived too close to the power lines, some from unhappiness (just ask that nut bar Van Gogh), some from lack of sleep, some from drug abuse or mixing meds and alcohol, some from inbreeding, and some just come from plain old daily life. Like this episode of the comic that just won’t lie down and die despite having been injected with massive amounts of dim sum and sugary petro-foods all in one day.

(Before I continue, please refrain from snorting derisively, rolling your eyes with incredulity or thinking “he’s such an arrogant putz” over the implied link between ‘artistry’ and this comic. I need this space to vent.)

So where were we? Oh yeah, real life. I was made aware of an automotive mishap last week that thankfully had no victims, apart from the poor saplings used to slow the vehicle’s progress and maybe those of us who had a scare put into us the likes of which would have required a fresh change underwear had we not been eating a very low fiber lunch. But I digress.

I tried the tried and true technique of plunging the reader into the story from the very first frame, thus sparing you of some crazy story and dialogue which requires readers to look away from the stuff they really want to read on their iPads, like shopping for stuff or Solitaire, or other such highly involving games. And I think it worked, but you will have to be the judge of that.

Oh, and I wanted to have an image of the James Dean car crash, but I was too lazy to think of where to place it into the frame and still have time for a late night snack. If that isn’t dedication, I don’t know what is.

Wishing you all safe travels, good bagels and children who don’t talk back to you even when they are right.


Benicio del Drukero