Tag Archives: blame

It’s Someone’s Fault

Dear Seekers of False Knowledge,

Thanks for tuning in again.

It is said that the definition of insanity is constantly repeating the same action and expecting a different result each time. And I have little reason to doubt that this mental condition called “insanity” is merely some kind of mild brain damage that wasn’t treated when we were children and drank that SPF 4 coconut-scented sun tan lotion in the closet at the age of three.

And speaking of children, mine have shown me that I possess some subtle hints of insanity that really rears its head come get-to-bed time. I repeat the phrase “get upstairs and brush your teeth” several hundred times, each time in a louder voice, each time followed by “don’t make me scream at you again” x 10 to the 7th power.

Of course the kids’ lack of any reaction is troubling, meaning there is  nothing akin to obedience, respect or even a pleasant “we’ll put you in a nice home” pat on the head. Not happening.

Such blood-pressure boiling futility makes me think of the American election just passed. Four years goes by, the Americans spend untold sums of money to diss a lefty black guy and they wind up re-electing him and those that didn’t vote for him go out and buy even more guns because they think some kind of apocalypse is coming. Same thing for the wars in the Middle East. Lots of killing, lots of rhetoric, shipping tankers worth of anger.

Then, along comes Hurricane Sandy, or the umpteenth earthquake or biblical flood somewhere on the globe to remind us that nature is even more insane than us. Some say it is God punishing us, some say it is an angry Mother Nature, some blame mankind and its polluting ways for all this destruction. Some even claim it’s China who is just messing with us. (Actually, you’re all wrong. Everyone knows it is the international cabal of sodium pentathol-addicted dentists who are responsible for the shape of the world. Don’t act like you didn’t know.)

What I find truly amazing is our reaction as humans to this destruction and how we rationalize all this. It’s got to be someone’s fault, no? Lets face it, the universal and human default state of behavior is essentially insanity as defined above, because we keep on doing the same crap.

Well, when insanity is the only predictable thing in this world of ours, there is only one thing to do to cope: you should all go out and eat mountains of high fructose /sucrose/ sugar and crude oil-rich cookies and gain weight so I won’t look so chubby when I stand next to you and wear dark colors to appear slimmer.

Religiously broke and morally bankrupt,

Amistad Druker