Contest Ahoy! Creativity Required, Profanity Optional

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Ahoy ye scurvy land-dwellers! Do I have an offer for you!

Having just recently completed this masterpiece of a drawing over the weekend, while I suffered mightily and stoically through what could be called the autumnal assault on my immune system, a.k.a. a nasty sinus cold, I decided within the last few strokes of the electronic stylus that you the reader should play a crucial part in completing this maritime-themed illustration.

In plain English, I want you to supply the dialogue that should appear in the drawing. I hear you asking yourselves, Why would I even waste a nano-second and several synaptic occurrences on helping this lazy good-for-nothing do his job?

Simple. There is a free t-shirt, sweat shirt, or bag, or some other swag in it for you. Whoever comes up with the winning dialogue will receive -free- an article from the Stanko & Tibor online store with this image and your carefully chosen words emblazoned on it. You can choose from clothing to iPad cases, to carrying devices. Or a water bottle if you’re so inclined or reclined.

I will list 1st, 2nd and 3rd places on the site, with your name, photo, date of birth, driver’s license and social security numbers, which I will then sell to unscrupulous types to help offset the cost of giving away these fine gifts. I’m kidding, I won’t sell it to anyone, I’ll just get a credit card in your name. There, you happy now?

All I ask in return for your time and effort for those lucky winners is that you actually wear the winning item in public, at least once, before you decide to polish your car with it or give it to the homeless. And maybe take a picture of it with you wearing it as proof you haven’t set the item on fire immediately.

The contest runs from today, October 4th until November 4th. A panel of extinguished judges will decide on who wins, and there are no appeals, unless bribe money is attached. Dollars, Euro, Yen, something like that, upwards of let’s say $50.

Good luck and may The Bard be with you.

Lord Hessian of the hound fondlers Druker

6 thoughts on “Contest Ahoy! Creativity Required, Profanity Optional”

  1. I thought I alread y had the winning entry!

    Want to make it look fair? Fine.
    Howabout:
    “…but I do like to fire people!”;

    ” ..if only I hadn’t fired 47% of my crew”;

    “where is Russel Crow when you need him?”;

  2. Says the sexually dyslexic boatswoman to Stanko (or is it Tibor) “Is that an oar or are you just happy to see me?”.

  3. How long to I have to stand here in this ridiculous outfit, just to wait for someone to drop me a line? Just because the cartoonist extraordinaire is taking an extraordinaire break and can’t think of a proper line himself. I bet you it’s gonna rain soon.

  4. “I’d rest my leg on the side of the boat like George Washington but this ain’t the Delaware and I don’t have any Jockeys under this raincoat.”

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