As most people are aware, the need to stretch one’s limits is necessary for a person, and dare I say, a society to improve. Be it stretching a person’s physical limits, challenging your cranial capacity through reading, studying or playing Angry Birds.
Or in some cases it’s a battle to not eat that sawdust and sugar-saturated mass produced chocolate chip cookie just beckoning from behind the lid of the cookie jar, with a soft, sweet voice, and its siren-like magnetic charm that says “Come on, what’s one more gram of transfat going to do? You already have 97% blocked arteries so this won’t matter one bit. Live the fantasy.”
And that is why I have given you this short sketch of our comic hero, stretching for that brewed beverage of water, malt, hops, and yeast. He knows it is death to his liver, but liquid sanity for his brain. Stretching to reach the golden liquid, hoping that physical exertion will somehow yield a health benefit.
Why I am telling all this? Because I too must stretch my abilities, cranial, physical, artistic, you name it. And with the iPad and a new stylus, I am trying out new drawing techniques and tools.
So I say to you, dear readers, or those of you who haven’t set this site to “inappropriate and filthy junk” in your web browsers, stretch yourselves, even if it’s just when you get out of bed.
Now I’m going to lie down and play solitaire.
May all your soups be rich in flavor and low in salt.
Iron Chef Hirohito Druker
Perhaps it is ironic that I chronicle this episode of the comic once deemed a “reason to reinstate capital punishment” by Gandhi after having spent a semi-active day actually using the facilities of my local gym, only to post an episode deriding said institution of health and well-being.
Or is it merely coincidental? Or could it be that I don’t know the difference between ‘ironic’ and ‘coincidental’. We’ll leave that up to the editors of this intellectually challenging publication known as Stanko & Tibor to decide what it is I know and don’t. And then come up with a suitable remedial learning program.
I actually exerted myself at the gym today, causing beads of what I think was sweat to come rolling off my forehead. It was a shock to say the least, but it was well worth it, as it worked up an appetite that was quenched with easily triple the calories I burned off. Success!!
So when you are contemplating whether or not to do the right thing and exercise, all in an attempt to have a better quality of life, a more balanced state of mind, a potentially longer life, and more energy to face the challenges that face us day to day (like understanding this comic), remember, you can’t really know fitness and health without knowing sloth and chocolate-covered baked goods laden with sugary goop.
Oh, and if you want some literary and visual sugary goop, check out the latest installment of Stanko & Tibor at a store near you.
Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the remote.
Admiral Jon “Gout Toe” Druker
To those of you who have made it through winter without succumbing to the need to leap on a tanning bed, fly south, read this comic or drink huge quantities of Aquavit, I ask, what is wrong with you? Now if you turned that question around and asked what is wrong with me, I’d have to distract you by screaming “Oh my God! What’s that over there?!” and then run out of the room.
As February ends, I anticipate the coming of spring in a couple of months and what that will mean for my wardrobe – specifically eliminating the torture of choosing the right coat that won’t make me sweat like a pig under a heat lamp in Jamaica in June. The early morning juggle of what sweater & coat combination to put together so I don’t arrive at work looking like I ran a marathon in a wet suit.
And speaking of work, if you put a monetary value on all the key strokes I put out into space tapping out email after email after email, all the PowerPoint slides I read and create, and all the meetings I have to sit through where I have to hear terms like “incentivizing”, “expand the envelope” and best-of-breed”, well, to be polite, I am working cheap. It’s enough to make me want to take out my frustrations via exercise. Well, almost.
You see exercise, particularly when at a gym, is a soul-destroying affair. You go in, you sweat, and what do you come out with? Smelly clothes and armpits. I should win something every time I leave the gym, like an iPod or a chocolate bar. Now that would be good incentivizing!
So, as you read this installment of the digitally chronicled oracle once touted by the New York Times Book Review as “disturbing” and “an argument against free speech” think of the good you are doing society by not working out at a gym and watching TV or surfing the Internet instead.